You and the Devil

What do you if you wake up one day and see the Devil snarling in your face?

Do you spit? Shout defiance? Make a thousand threats and die courageously?

Or do you cower and beg for mercy? Offer a bargain in exchange for your life? Give up every last ounce of your dignity for another moment of life.

No, I think not. Making binary choices is doing business on the Devil’s terms.

If you ever do wake up one day and see the Devil snarling in your face, you reach out with one hand, put your thumb between your first and middle fingers, and laugh: “I’ve got your nose! I’ve got your nose! I’ve got your goddamn nose, you stupid metaphor for all human evil!”

Then do an armpit fart.

If there really is such a thing as the Devil, it stands to reason those would be the kinds of things he is afraid of. All the things that take away the power that we’re accustomed to giving him.

From A Fancy Swewish Sweater

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